Heaviness
Today was one of those days that the reality of life here, the heaviness of it, was so evident. It was full of moments where you realize that the battle isn't merely the physical issues your neighbors are facing. My heart felt overwhelmed by all that was going on, by the burdens my friends had to carry.
I sat with a young mother, who left the brothel, as she tried to figure out how to make ends meet. She's never seen herself as valuable, as someone with worth. She didn't feel like anyone really noticed her drowning in fear and doubt. She felt like the struggle was too difficult and she couldn't handle it.
This afternoon, I spent time with a woman I'm privileged to do ministry with. Over the past month, her husband has grown increasingly ill and they aren't sure what to do. She hears what everyone is saying about his condition; yet, she doesn't grow discouraged. As we spoke, she told me "If my husband is healed, I know that God is good and I will trust him. But if my husband isn't healed, I still know that God is good and I will trust him." That statement alone challenged my heart. My friend went on to talk about Isaiah 43:
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine."
When you pass through the water, they will not sweep over you. When you walk
through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I
am the Lord your God.
I've watched as people told her to give up, he's not going to make it. Yet, she continues to press on that the Lord would be glorified in this situation. Despite everyone telling her to turn to other things, she continues to place her trust in God and know that his will is so much greater than our best thought solutions.
Despite the heaviness of today, God really used those moments to challenge my heart. In what ways am I trusting him? Am I really believing he is who he says he is? Am I truly giving him control and allowing him to work in the ways that glorify him?
I felt even more convicted after worship this evening. The Miriam Center boys asked if we could do some worship tonight. I wasn't really feeling up it; but they were persistent, so we did a few songs. As we all sang, I watched as each kid worshiped with the abilities that they had. Some sang aloud, some clapped, some nodded their heads, and some rocked out on air guitars. It was so beautiful to watch how they didn't let their inabilities prevent them from giving God what he deserved. I just saw this beautiful, unhindered love that those kids have for their savior and it challenged me to think of the ways that I worship and honor God.
I sat with a young mother, who left the brothel, as she tried to figure out how to make ends meet. She's never seen herself as valuable, as someone with worth. She didn't feel like anyone really noticed her drowning in fear and doubt. She felt like the struggle was too difficult and she couldn't handle it.
This afternoon, I spent time with a woman I'm privileged to do ministry with. Over the past month, her husband has grown increasingly ill and they aren't sure what to do. She hears what everyone is saying about his condition; yet, she doesn't grow discouraged. As we spoke, she told me "If my husband is healed, I know that God is good and I will trust him. But if my husband isn't healed, I still know that God is good and I will trust him." That statement alone challenged my heart. My friend went on to talk about Isaiah 43:
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine."
When you pass through the water, they will not sweep over you. When you walk
through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I
am the Lord your God.
I've watched as people told her to give up, he's not going to make it. Yet, she continues to press on that the Lord would be glorified in this situation. Despite everyone telling her to turn to other things, she continues to place her trust in God and know that his will is so much greater than our best thought solutions.
Despite the heaviness of today, God really used those moments to challenge my heart. In what ways am I trusting him? Am I really believing he is who he says he is? Am I truly giving him control and allowing him to work in the ways that glorify him?
I felt even more convicted after worship this evening. The Miriam Center boys asked if we could do some worship tonight. I wasn't really feeling up it; but they were persistent, so we did a few songs. As we all sang, I watched as each kid worshiped with the abilities that they had. Some sang aloud, some clapped, some nodded their heads, and some rocked out on air guitars. It was so beautiful to watch how they didn't let their inabilities prevent them from giving God what he deserved. I just saw this beautiful, unhindered love that those kids have for their savior and it challenged me to think of the ways that I worship and honor God.
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