School

So I just started my second week of classes. When certain things happen, I find myself wanting to just crack up laughing but realize that's totally not funny to anyone here. Not to mention, I love to sing in Creole and my roommates think I'm crazy because I just mumble the words all the time. It's so hard to stay focused on school work when you just want to be somewhere else. I realize that I'm so fortunate to attend school and I know kids who would give anything to be in my position. Something I keep catching myself on is that just because I'm not in Haiti doesn't mean I can't serve God. It's really easy to feel God in a place like Haiti but not in America. I have to constantly remind myself that "mission" work just means serving people and loving them. It's so simple to love the people you go to "serve" but not the people around you. I have to remind myself to love them where they are at. Totally not an easy concept. I get so frustrated with the fast paced lifestyle and the consumerism. I hate the fact that we have put stupid material items above GOD. Seriously?! As if giving his life wasn't enough, we still can't be satisfied by what he gives us. It's so simple to talk about Jesus and religion and politics and life in Haiti. Ask a stranger that in America, it doesn't pan out so smoothly. I wish we had a transparent society. So many people say everything comes down to love, but does it really? Are we really all about loving each other regardless of religion, political stance, socioeconomic position? As much as we all want to say yes, we would be lying.

I've been struggling with how do Haitians, or any undeveloped country, have so much faith? I have everything and I doubt all the time. I sing Tout bagay deja byen but I really struggle with recognizing that. I find myself singing it when I get frustrated or I'm doubtful. I pray that I would come to know what it means to trust like it's nobody's business.

A few girls from school and I are really considering spending part our of Christmas break in Haiti. The first thing that was mentioned was but I don't have the money. Neither do I but if God is calling us to serve there, he will provide. He always has and always will. It would be awesome to have people praying for us as we figure everything out and how God is calling us to serve for those ten days and that we would be trust in his provision.